In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
