hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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