Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
