I skipped work to stalk him.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
