He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
