There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
