I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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