nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
