what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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