I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
