5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
