There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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