glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
