That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
