omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
