He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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