So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
