First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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