Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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