so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
