Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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