Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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