Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
