ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
