Pappa wants mamma naked
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
