3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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