i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
