I wannas sexs uuuuu
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
