The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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