My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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