do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
and she was petting her beer can
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
