even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
