dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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