I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
