my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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