3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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