it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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