is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
