It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
