Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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