I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
