you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
This is the high leading the old right now
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
