Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
