This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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