i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
