just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
