I cockslap morals
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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