take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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