i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
