he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
