fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
